Art That I Could Do Without

Nicholas must get bored while using the bathroom. As I clean up the boys' bathroom each evening, I have noticed collections of wet toilet paper stuck to the wall. At first I chalked it up to sloppiness. Then I started to question just why this kept happening.

Well today, I found Nicholas sitting on the toilet, wetting these little wads, and meticulously placing them on the wall. "What are you doing?" I asked.

Nicholas replied "See Mom. It's my new art project! Do you like it?"

Now how am I supposed to respond to that?

For the Love of It

Motherhood is full of ups and downs. This weekend illustrated this point perfectly.

I found myself quite down this weekend over a situation with which we struggle concerning one of our boys. Anytime it is even hinted that something might be wrong with one of my children is enough to throw the "mother bear" in me into a frenzy. I don't want them to be misdiagnosed or stigmatized, but at the same time I want to get them help that they truly need. And then I start to question whether we should even have any more kids, because I am failing so miserably at the ones that I do have.

But then moments of peace hit. I realize that the issue with my son can be helped. It is not the end of the world, and I am just so glad to have him here as a part of our family. And then I sit and watch as they all four play ball together on the floor, laughing and immensely enjoying each other.

Yep, now I remember why we had "all of these kids". It was for the love.

What I Love About Him

This meme is a wonderful, thought provoking one from Jen at Nestled in the Woods. Jen has some awesome reflections on the events of daily life! I am glad that I have a quiet moment this morning to ponder on this. What a great morning reflection - see internet time can be a devotion time as well! Now that's multitasking!

Five things that I love about Jesus...

5. He served first. I attempt to mindful that Jesus always took care of the physical needs first. And what a servant He was! He was humble to wash the feet of the disciples even as He faced his own death. He healed the blind, or the lame, and then spread the message of the gospel "Believe, and sin no more.". I feel at times the need to spread this messsage, but this servant leadership of Jesus reminds me to first make sure that there isn't something else I can do before I speak. This is an area that I struggle with, and I am really trying harder to work on.

4. Jesus' love for the children. Whenever I am tempted to be frustrated with the ways of the little child, it is very helpful to think of the way Jesus approached those little ones. "Let them come to me." While I am busy with minute daily chores and someone needs help finding shoes..."Let them come to me". When I am on the computer typing away a post and someone would like to read a book..."Let them come to me." Jesus's appreciation for the ways of children is a wonderful reminder for me as a mother. Another area to work hard on!

3. His Temptaion in the desert. Any time that I am quick to say "I just can't do it!", I can look to his temptation in the desert as encouragement. Here Jesus was hungry, and probably tired from being out in the middle of nowhere all alone. Yet at this vulnerable time he was able to rebuff Satan and stand firm. I have heard of those who are a bit skeptical because "Well, He's Jesus. Of course He denied temptation." But I think that when we discount this event, we fail to realize that while He is 100 % God, He was also 100% human at the same time. And how would you feel under those circumstances? Jesus felt the exact same way and yet did not turn His back on His path. It is fitting that this is at the beginning of His public ministry.

2. He always forgives! And Peter asked, "How many times do I forgive my brother? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered "I do not say up to seven times, but seventy times seven." Matt. 18:21-22 Complete and Absolute forgiveness. Even when we fallible humans make the same silly mistakes over and over and over.

1. He so willingly died for us. Jesus was completely aware of the horrific nature of his crucifixion, and yet he went through with it. Now that is the model of unconditional love. Every time I read about him praying in the garden, I realize more fully how He knew that He would suffer tremendously, and yet he did it anyway. That He would have gone though all of that even if it were just little ole me that needed salvation. That's powerful, and that's love!

Thank you so much for this Jen! And Celeste, if you want to do this one, but it takes some time! I would love to read your responses though - you always have some great insights!

Rant Time!

This article really burns me up. And then I go do something stupid and read the comments. Now my blood pressure is boiling...

Kids misbehaving in public. It seems so easy to solve, right? Let childless couples decide to ban children from public, because after all, the parents are not doing their job and disciplining their kiddos. Simple on the surface, but there are definitely underlying wars abrewing...

Are their some parents who allow the kids to be unruly in public. Resounding yes! And store owners, restaurateurs, and such need to be able to ask those to leave who are running all over the place and causing screaming fits for upwards of an hour. I am not talking about those parents who remove their child after a fit ensues, because guess what? Kids are unpredictable. If you should not leave the house until you can 100 percent count on them not making a scene, then I know many adults who should stay at home. Thinking road rage, anyone?

There is another extreme that seems to be getting a pass here - the childless by choice couples who haughtily proclaim to every parent in sight their own personal (not by experience!) wisdom of just how to raise everyone else's kid so that these little ones will not interfere with their space. Do you think keeping kids well behaved will satisfy these groups? Well, not entirely, because after all these kids that they do not want to be living with on their planet are daring to breathe THEIR air that should be reserved for them and only them. Well, and maybe for their little dogs which they take to pet manicurists and pet psychologists.

By mere fact that they look up and see a child sitting quietly and eating with a parent utterly offends their world. Oh, they aren't this way, you say? Look at the disgusted looks they shoot the Mom who is sitting in a corner breastfeeding COMPLETELY UNDER A BLANKET. Listen to the time in the store that they see me with my four boys saying not a word, and then comment where my boys can hear "Oh look at all of those boys that she is stuck with! Hate to be her!". What about their crude conversations on the cell phone about their personal life that I quite frankly do no want to hear, and especially don't want my children to overhear. Since when did turning 18 give you a pass on being polite to others in public? But no one mentions these things...

Kid free zones? Go for it! We just won't be patronizing those businesses and that's fine by me! Just make sure that if you hate children that you also do your part and stick to those places as well. Leave the rest of us who want KID-FRIENDLY places alone. Because that is where I will QUITE HAPPILY be...

Sheesh...Self-serving adults who never grew up...


HT: Mark Shea

Ring of Power

When Brennan was 5 years old, I once found him on my bed, bouncing around. We had a few laundry baskets and other miscellaneous items stacked along the walls, as we had just cleaned the carpets the night before. I went into the bathroom to put my wedding and engagement rings on and my heart skipped a beat - the engagement ring was there, but not my wedding ring.

In a moment of pure panic, I searched the recesses of my mind, trying to think of where else I could of put it. But only for a moment. It dawned on me rather quickly that both rings should be together. Which meant, a small boy probably took hold of my beloved ring.

I asked Brennan if he had seen my wedding ring. He immediately gave me a bit of a perplexed look, so I specified, "you know, the one that goes with this one" holding up my engagement ring. A lightbulb clicked in his eyes.

"Oh, you mean your ring of power." I knew exactly what he meant. Ring of power, as in the "Lord of the Rings" (Yes, we won't go into here how my 5 year old knows all about this. Let's just say that he may have seen this movie with Dad, and because it obviously didn't scare him in the slightest, he has watched it a handful of times while Mom and Dad had it on).

"What happened to it, honey?" I queried. "Oh, I threw it in the lava pit." Brennan happily responded. Lava pit? I immediately began to use my creative thinking skills in order to decipher what in our house a 5 year old boy could have possibly perceived as a lava pit. Not coming up with anything, I started to fish for clues.

"Where were you when you threw it?" I asked. "Right here" my little jumping joy proclaimed, still on my bed. I began to search our room. I pulled everything from the walls, and pieced through each laundry basket. Finally, at the bottom of the third basket, I found my ring (How did it get to the bottom?). Joy! A quick instruction was given to my dear child about never playing with Mom's "ring of power".

I was reminded of this incident yesterday when Brennan, now 6 and a half came to me in the playroom. "Look Mom. I found your ring of power." I began to think about how it is through the sacrament of marriage that we are gifted with the grace which we need to carry out the never ending tasks of family and even more specifically motherhood. The grace we need in order to constantly sacrifice our own desires for the needs of others. This ring is my own living symbol of the graces given to me by this sacrament on my wedding day 9 years ago.

"Oh yes!" I responded to my dear son. "My ring of power, indeed!".

What Kind of Coffee Girl are You?

You Are a Plain Ole Cup of Joe

But don't think plain - instead think, uncomplicatedYou're a low maintenance kind of girl... who can hang with the guysDown to earth, easy going, and fun! Yup, that's you: the friend everyone invites.And your dependable too. Both for a laugh and a sympathetic ear.

HT: Minnesota Mom



Anyone who hangs around me much knows that I love my coffee. I will drink it in the morning, all day long, and to keep me going if there is a tedious project that I need to get through (think household cleaning!). But coffee and I didn't hit it off at first...

I was in high school, on a family camping trip, when my Dad offered me my first cup of coffee. I hated it. Of course he had added creamer and sugar. It wasn't until college that I would try again, this time just a cup of "plain ole' joe". I loved it!

So this description above fits. I do like good, quality coffee beans - we are coffee snobs that way- but whether it is a mocha (coffee AND chocolate!) or a good cup of the plain stuff, I am just fine. Just fine indeed!

Cruel and Unusual Punishment

Last night we were all eating dinner, and Brennan suddenly stated "I don't want to sit here any more. I want to go play." He was being a bit sour, because we dared serve something with hamburger in it for dinner. (I told you he has been complaining a lot lately!) Colin informed him that he would sit until everyone else was finished. Sit Brennan did, but along with it came much pouting!

So once I got up to clear my plate, Brennan looked at Colin and asked "Now, can I get up?". Colin merely replied "Since you complained so much, you can sit there and listen to some after dinner reading first." He then proceeded to subject our dear son to 15 minutes of reading from one of my husband's Statistics books.

Once finished, Colin asked Brennan "Do you want to hear more?". Brennan, noticeably more polite now, responded "Um, no, I don't think so.".

Creative parenting, what else can I say!

Busy Weekend

Baking and Reading.

That is how I spent my weekend. Today, I will be cleaning, as when you spend a weekend doing not much else other than to the two things above, the house can get a bit disastrous (especially with 4 little guys sharing the space!).

But what a weekend! I spent most of the free time making bread. You see, we go through a lot of the stuff. And buying 4 loaves of sandwich bread a week, plus the breakfast breads, and dinner rolls, and even pie crusts for the chicken pot pie can add up when we are buying premade varieties. And we have tried store brands of these breads - definitely not good. I think this is one area that both my husband and I can be extremely picky. So in an effort to trim our grocery budget, I have made the command decision to bake all of our own bread. I do love to bake anyway, so it is not like I am picking up a "chore" as much as a hobby. We had a great time baking, and we all loved the results. Even the boys gladly pitched in!

The rest of my spare time was spent finishing the last Harry Potter book. And as I read the end of it very early this morning, I have to say that I am incredibly satisfied with how the series wrapped up. My husband and I are BIG fantasy fans, you see (I really should post pics of his Star Wars collection). And we love the books. We will insist that the boys wait until they are older to read them (like 12 or so). But yes, I think that there still will be a substantial number of children reading the books in 6 years. They are that imaginative, that good. Enough of that...

Overall, we made the best of a rainy, soggy, humid weekend. Here's hoping yours was just as great!

Acceptance

Brennan and Nicholas were discussing the storyline of Charlotte's Web. When Nicholas asked "What happened to Charlotte?", Brennan casually replied "She died.". Brennan then turned to me and asked "Mom, why did Charlotte die?".

"She just got old." I answered him. To which he nonchalantly responded, with a quick nod of his head, "Yep, I guess that happens.".

5 Useful Items for a Rainy Day in with Young Boys

1. A cleaned out, empty garage which you can send them out into with small riding toys, balls, jump ropes, and lightsabers

2. Play-doh

3. Paint and a roll of butcher paper (also great to do in the garage)

4. Board games (Brennan is really enjoying learning chess)

5. DVDs - always a good last resort for the desperate!

Lesson for the Day

Brennan has really been complaining a lot lately. About everything. What we have for dinner, what we are not having for dinner, not watching a movie, the rain outside, doing chores, blah, blah, blah.

So tonight at dinner, as he complained for the umpteenth time, I finally said "You know, the Israelites were going straight to the promised land until they started complaining so much."

"What did they complain about?" Brennan wondered.

"Oh, the same things as you, what they had to eat, it was too hot, stuff like that."

I had merely meant to be a little smart, but amazingly Brennan seemed to take it to heart. He took a bite and then said "I like my dinner Mom."

Glad to hear that, dear little guy!

Burning Question of the Day

Courtesy of Brennan: "Mom, are Batman's bats vampire bats or fruit bats?"


Oh, all of the important things that my expensive college education didn't teach me!

Underwear Issues

What is it with boys and underwear? The mere mention of the word is enough to send Brennan into fits of laughter. He will read any book that even casually throws the word out there. Yet when it comes to dressing in the morning, I have to check each of my two oldest boys (the two that dress themselves) just to make sure that they have put these hysterical little items on! More than once I have been somewhere, only to find out that one of them (usually Brennan) "forgot" to put underwear on. Nicholas is getting better about remembering his, however today I threw him a new loop...

As we were dressing for the pool, Nicholas insisted on putting underwear on under his swim suit. I now found myself in the contradictory position of having to explain why he didn't need underwear with his swimsuit. Just when we had finally gotten the wearing underwear thing down!

It will be interesting to see if he now remembers to put underwear on as he dresses tomorrow morning.

My Fearless Defender

The Blank Stare

There are two innate abilities that all little boys seem to have from birth - the ability to shut out their mother's voice and the blank stare. I often see the blank stare in response to questions like "What did you think you were doing?" or "What is it that made you think that might have been a good idea?". Blank Stare.

Because in a little boy's mind, of course it was a good idea to jump off from atop a 6 ft platform. Undoubtedly it was productive to dump his entire plate onto the kitchen floor in order to "help" you clean it. Surely it was brilliant to throw a book at the window in order to kill the tiny little bug on it.

Little boys. They really just want to help.

Maybe we need a few more boys?

Brennan is pacing the house at this moment, looking for someone who will go "reindeer hunting" with him. So far he has had no takers. Nicholas has the Little People out, Philip is brandishing a sword, and Jonathan is clinging to me at the moment. Brennan keeps telling me that there isn't anyone to play with.

I thought with four boys we wouldn't have this issue. Maybe it's a sign?

The Toddler Diet

Any good diet has two parts - watching food portions and getting exercise. The Toddler Diet does both:

First the food portions. Step 1 - Make yourself a sandwich. Step 2 - Eat about a third of it. Step 3 - Toddler sees you eating and asks for a bite, so you give him one. Step 4 - Begin to alternate bites with toddler until last fourth of sandwich remains. Step 5 - Toddler takes rest of sandwich and devours it. This process works with just about any food that you are trying to eat, not just sandwiches. Does not work if you put the food on the toddler's plate.

Second, exercise. In most diets this is the hard part, but in the Toddler Diet it is actually quite easy. Live with toddler (or better yet, two of them). Attempt to dress toddlers - one tip from wrestling, control the hips. Be responsible for keeping younger toddler out of toilet, out of pantry, and out of older brothers' room. At same time, keep older toddler from breaking older brothers' battleship, climbing any bookshelves, or playing under any household faucet. Take him shopping for a really good workout.

Toddlers aren't just lovable. They serve a practical purpose as well - keeping us moms young and fit!

Hearing Test

If you ever want some sort of reassurance that your children do hear you as you give out your daily instructions, just watch them at play. I lectured the boys this morning on our way to the doctor's office for two well child checkups - no loud squeals/screams, no playing with the equipment in the "little room", and please no fighting. Let's just pretend for the sake of those in the office that we all get along splendidly, shall we!

The boys did pretty well. Sure there were a few incidents, mostly with our resident two year old, who insists that everything in the exam room was put there purely for his own exploration. Jonathan is supposedly a little slim for his age, but we will put him on whole milk and take a wait and see approach. He is built like Brennan after all, who is also very slim. The main difference is that while Brennan is also short, Jonathan is very tall, hence the discrepancy on those graphs.

Nicholas will finally get a hearing and speech test, which will at best get him some help so people outside of us can understand him. At least it will put my mind at ease and give me an answer for those who constantly ask me if he is okay.

But I digress. Nicholas was the inspiration for my post title, and I was not referring to an actual hearing test. It is just that with any 5 year old boy, you wonder if they hear you at all. Well, Nicholas was just lining up the Little People Animals in a square and instructing them on just how they should behave as they wait for the doctor. So cute!

And it also means that he at least registered what I was saying this morning. Now that puts my mind at ease!

Unhappy Moms???

The Today show did a segment today on how moms today are much unhappier than moms used to be. I was curious, so I stopped breakfast for 5 minutes to watch the entire thing. They began with showing TV moms from the 50's (June Cleaver, et al) and said in an over voice "See how happy moms used to be, as they cooked, cleaned, even broke up skirmishes.." Then they showed a current mom who was frantically trying to get a meal to a family in a hurried frenzy that is much more familiar to me than family life, TV style. Their first conclusion from these juxtaposing scenes - moms are unhappier than they used to be.

Whoa! Why are they comparing real life moms to TV moms? How wrong is that! Of course moms on TV are much calmer than moms in real life - they have the benefit of reading a script instead of being in a real life moment with real life people. Duh! Typically bad TV reporting. Why do I even watch these things? Because I know that there is some new mom out there watching and feeling that she is a bad mom or doing something wrong because her life is not as controlled as the Cleavers. And guess what! It shouldn't be! That is the truth which she needs to hear!

In NBC's defense, they did close with a psychologist who said that most women today need to ask for help more often than most currently do. And that is probably true. I know that I typically will be upset when my husband doesn't read my mind or decipher my vague comments on help and reach out in a way that I would like. The doctor's advice is good - ask for help in a specific way. I believe that Danielle Bean wrote an excellent chapter on this in her latest book!

As far as unhappy? Sometimes harried, maybe. Busy, yes! But unhappy, not me. Even on the most frantic of days, I would rather be home taking care of my boys than do anything else out there. Hands down!

Not Mine

No that would not have been my child yesterday. The one that was playing in the pool, and needed to go to the bathroom. The one who, instead of going to the actual restroom, instead began to pull down his pants and pee over the edge DIRECTLY INTO THE POOL. With everyone around staring.

Humiliating moments of motherhood continue...

Feeling Totally Ridiculous

I have yet another confession - I am a complete toy-a-holic. If you have been to my house, you know what I mean. I love toys. I love to buy toys, and not just for my boys and other children - even for myself. So as time with four small children progressed on, we have managed to accumulate enough toys to run a day care. Not kidding. And when it would be time to purge, I would take out the occassional grocery bag full, not the black sack needed to adequately do the job.

But today I had help. A very dear friend was over, and I happened to mention my intentions to take another bag out of the playroom. She offered to help, and I gladly accepted - after all, sometimes we just need that impartial observer to get past our emotions.

Boy did that do the trick! My first clue should have been her response when I brought in two grocery bags. "Oh, no" she exclaimed. "That isn't going to do it!". I grudgingly went for bigger kitchen trash bags and felt an uncomfortable tightening in my chest.

An hour later, we had filled two kitchen trash bags, one black 39 gallon lawn bag, and a 66 qt rubbermaid tub. I still could use a few different sized storage bins, but it looks good. The finished results




Now the totally feeling ridiculous part - I am a little bothered by this. While it is nice and neat and easy to access, I feel like we just got robbed! How totally silly is that! I find myself saying "what will we do now?". Keep in mind that we still have Lincoln Logs, Legos, Playmobil, and other castle/pirate things in Brennan and Nicholas's room. We are certainly not lacking, even for four children. Why am I having such a hard time with this? I am realizing how materialistic I can still be, and how much farther I have to go in the area of letting go of these things. Truthfully, it will be much easier for the boys to help pick up and much much easier for me, as I have felt like I spend my entire day caring for these things instead of caring for the little people here. That is where I need to shift my focus. Because these little guys are much more important to me than any of these things.

Thank God for good friends that are there to help us through our own personal trials that we face! I really don't know what I would do without them!

In the Moment

Last night we attended an Astros game with my brother's family. We had a blast! I grew up attending many a Texas Rangers game, and we always had fun with the many antics present at a Major League Baseball event. For those who have never been, let me just tell you that the powers that be have invented several colorful ways to fill in the rather *ahem* SLOW parts of the game. This was actually the first game that Philip and Jonathan had been too, and really the first that Nicholas remembered. Brennan did have vague recollections of the last one we were at a couple of years ago.

The game was great, but the very best was the surprise fireworks show over downtown Houston after the game. We had no idea that they were planning it until the announcement after the game (which was a first time shut out for a young Astros pitcher - quite exciting!). The fireworks against the nighttime skyline were awesome!

The only down side was Brennan spending the entire show asking if we were going home yet. I was a little surprised - after all, he really seemed to be having a good time. "Maybe he is just tired" I thought to myself. So I just encouraged him to hang in there. I even thought I would seize the moment to impart some words of wisdom. I whispered in his ear "Sometimes we need to not hurry to the next thing and just sit back to enjoy a nice moment together.". He gave me a funny look, and just sat there, with a face that I assumed was pouting. This continued on until the end of the show, some 20 or 30 minutes.

After the show ended, I asked Brennan if he enjoyed it. "Yes, but are we going home now?" he asked? I replied in the affirmative. To that Brennan responded "Good, because I have to go to the bathroom.". I felt terrible! Here was my poor child, needing to use the restroom, and I am busy patting myself on the back for supposedly grasping a teachable moment. I asked him why he said he wanted to go home if he just needed to go to the bathroom. Blank stare.

My personal lesson - when I think that I am a horrible parent, I am likely not as bad as I think. However when I think that I am being a great parent, maybe I should recheck the situation!

Happy Birthday America!

We had a wondrous day yesterday! My baby brother and his family are down visiting, so we played together and enjoyed time with brothers and cousins. We had lots of great grilled food - always important on the fourth! And then we went to see one of our many surrounding city's fireworks shows. The boys were all very excited by the lights and the sounds. Well, Jonathan actually wasn't let in on the secret, so when the fun began, he was at first somewhat frightened by darkness broken with loud booms and bright sparks. Once he adjusted, he enjoyed them as well. Brennan was quick to remind everyone that "Today is America's birthday!".

I must admit I am immensely jealous after listening to everyone's fun episodes with personal fireworks. A fond memory from childhood is standing by my Mom or Dad as they lit each firework and then dashing away with them as it was lit. Then the sparks and variations from individual fireworks would delight us all. It was thrilling to each pick out a few of our favorites, and the ones that you buy are all so different from each other, unlike the similar booms of the public shows. Of course Dad would always just quip "Lighting fireworks is like lighting a twenty on fire and watching it burn." And we would always reply "Yea, but would the twenty turn all sorts of brilliant colors and sparks?". Never got any argument there!

But that would not be us - we live in an incorporated part of Houston. BLAH! The boys had sparklers at New Year's and LOVED THEM! So I tried to talk my DH into purchasing just those, but ever the good guy that he is, he checked the city's ban list and yes, sparklers were included. So the head of our house lovingly did not allow ever eager me to lead us into temptation - I love him!

And maybe, someday, we will have a fourth like I remember having. Until then, hope everyone else had a great time with family and friends. I know we did, even if the magic we saw in the air was shared with hundreds of others and was not just our own!

Joining the Meez World!

I have so many thoughts jumbled in my head right now, that I will need a significant portion of time to get them all straightened out into coherent writing. So until I do...



So fun! And pretty appropriate for me, if I could only add two more boys running around, a baby in my arms, and have my coffee mug too! I am working on the mess, however - sad to say that this picture is actually me!

Never Good

The one question that never turns out to be a good answer - Where's Jonathan? And that has been the question of the day it seems.

Like this morning, when I asked Brennan this question and found Mr. Jonathan, yet again, pulling the wiry stuff out of my fake plant in the family room.

This afternoon, that particular query brought us to a certain nameless munchkin pulling apart a lonely old cassette tape happened upon during a cleanout session.

And tonight, as I was bathing the older boys and I hear my dear husband ask that precarious question. And yes, Jonathan was into one of the chocolate pudding bowls which an older brother so kindly left down at the table for him. And yes, he was still wearing his church clothes - white-based plaid overalls to be exact.

Even as I type this, he somehow found a spare nickel to chew on... Ahh yes! I love the exploratory stage of the little boy! It sure keeps us all on our toes!