Unhappy Moms???
The Today show did a segment today on how moms today are much unhappier than moms used to be. I was curious, so I stopped breakfast for 5 minutes to watch the entire thing. They began with showing TV moms from the 50's (June Cleaver, et al) and said in an over voice "See how happy moms used to be, as they cooked, cleaned, even broke up skirmishes.." Then they showed a current mom who was frantically trying to get a meal to a family in a hurried frenzy that is much more familiar to me than family life, TV style. Their first conclusion from these juxtaposing scenes - moms are unhappier than they used to be.
Whoa! Why are they comparing real life moms to TV moms? How wrong is that! Of course moms on TV are much calmer than moms in real life - they have the benefit of reading a script instead of being in a real life moment with real life people. Duh! Typically bad TV reporting. Why do I even watch these things? Because I know that there is some new mom out there watching and feeling that she is a bad mom or doing something wrong because her life is not as controlled as the Cleavers. And guess what! It shouldn't be! That is the truth which she needs to hear!
In NBC's defense, they did close with a psychologist who said that most women today need to ask for help more often than most currently do. And that is probably true. I know that I typically will be upset when my husband doesn't read my mind or decipher my vague comments on help and reach out in a way that I would like. The doctor's advice is good - ask for help in a specific way. I believe that Danielle Bean wrote an excellent chapter on this in her latest book!
As far as unhappy? Sometimes harried, maybe. Busy, yes! But unhappy, not me. Even on the most frantic of days, I would rather be home taking care of my boys than do anything else out there. Hands down!
posted by Mom of boys @ 8:56 AM
26 Comments:
Amen!
Moms don't have as much help as they used to in the "old" days. Often there isn't an extended family around for helping out, and just visiting with. Us moms need time to talk with real people not just little people.
While I love being with my kids all the time and would never give that up, I can tell you from experience that if they are the only ones you spend time with for an extended period (weeks to months), you do end up unhappy. Not unhappy about being with them, just unhappy about the lack of social support. The people who tell you it is okay to have a kid pee in the pool because they are in the same boat.
I think that you are right, Kris. A support system for a mom is huge. One reason why I appreciate the blogosphere is that you do tend to hear encouraging stories from similiar situations and perspectives. Although "real" contact would be preferrable, blogosphere contact is sometimes enough at those times that "real" contact isn't possible. It does help keep us happy.
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