Jumping for Joy

Today was the kind of day that puts a spring in my step and leaves me wanting to sing. Yes we had our share of little tiffs, but today something happened that I have been waiting for for almost 5 years. Let me explain...

Nicholas, my 4 year old (will be 5 this weekend!), is what I call an extreme personality. He has absolutely no self control over his emotions. And while it has been slowly getting better since its peak at about 3 years of age, I still tremble at the thought of having him anywhere in public. So much so that I almost decided not to apply for the homeschool coop in the fall, afraid that he would have a stubborn, tantrum kind of moment and be asked not to come back! You see, his tantrums often involve hurling himself or any close object, with no regard for any innocent bystanders. He is also very strong willed, and a time out or discipline taking my oldest child 5 minutes will often go on for hours with Nicholas. I have shed more than a few tears over him, and have often wondered just how he would turn out in the long run.

Not that he is all trouble, mind you. He also delights me. His bubbly personality is contagious, and his smile in the morning warms my heart. He is my morning person who greets each day with such eagerness and joy. He can be so thoughtful, and absolutely hilarious. He is my comic, my performer, my helper (he does a GREAT job at washing windows!). And the twinkle in his eye and expressive face are just too adorable (says the doting Mom).

But those tantrums. They are the sore spot of my day. Oftentimes, my state of mind at the end of the day is in large part due to how many of Nick's meltdowns I have been able to avoid. I have been waiting to wake up one day, and see a drastic change. I have employed firm discipline. I have tried spending more one on one time. We have seen small steps of progress, but these steps are so minuscule that it takes looking 6 months or so back to see progress. Until today.

Today we didn't just avoid a tantrum, we conquered it (or should I say Nicholas did!). He wanted to watch a movie - it wasn't time. I was putting on a music CD instead. He began to scream "I WANT TO WATCH A MOVIE!" I reiterated that it was not movie time, and if he yelled again or threw a tantrum, he would have to go sit in his corner.

Nicholas did not scream, he did not even throw the toy in his hand. He stood there, his entire body trembling, for about 30 seconds. And then he did the unthinkable.

Nicholas looked at me, and with a calm, firm voice, replied "I am just so angry!".

I froze - never had he displayed such self control. I immediately hugged him up and told him how proud I was that he was able to express himself so calmly. And I repeated that while it was still not time for a movie he showed what a big boy he is becoming by saying how he felt instead of throwing a fit. And I hugged him some more. I felt Nicholas immediately relax his body, and he went back to play peacefully.

This may seem crazy to most, but I was afraid that I would never get a moment like this with Nicholas. A moment when I could affirm him in what he did right instead of berating him for a wrong. And the rest of today was perfect.

Thank you, God!



Nicholas, displaying his all expressive smile! My future actor!