Love is a Choice!
I was having a discussion the other day with someone on love. She commented that some days she just doesn't love her spouse any more, and wonders if they rushed into marriage. She felt that the marriage was just for the kids.
Many people talk about love. Some are of the view that love is an emotion, something that we feel. Others view love as a choice, something that we do. I have been thinking about this a lot lately and I believe love is a choice. Upon hearing this, some have said "Now wait. Don't put down love as merely a choice!" Yet I believe that love as a choice is something higher than love as an emotion.
Emotions are what they are - they come and go on a whim. The idea of love as an emotion implies that we are an unwilling victim when we fall in love, or do not have any personal responsibility when we "fall out of love". Love as an emotion strikes me as shallow, fleeting.
Love as a choice, on the other hand, is fulfilling. It is the kind of love that stands against all adversity and digs its heels in for the long haul (call it stubborn love). It is a love that thinks not about "making me FEEL happy", but showing others how to have joy. And ultimately it forces us to accept the responsibility both to love and not to love. Love that is a choice is powerful.
God IS love. Without God, we cannot know how to love completely and perfectly; we cannot make that choice. It is not always easy, but, with God's help it is within our power to do so. I ask you all to pray for my friend - she is going through a rough time right now.
posted by Mom of boys @ 1:52 PM
2 Comments:
I will pray for your friend and for all troubled marriages. It is difficult, sometimes, to choose to love someone who doesn't seem to reciprocate. Oftentimes, there have been years of miscommunication which have resulted in a build up of animosity. It is normal for us to say, "If he (or she) really loves me, then he (or she) would do XYZ." I advised one friend to tell her husband exactly what XYZ was. She was upset that she HAD to tell him. I understand that frustration (if he really loved me, he would read my mind!!). I'm happy that I got over being upset that I HAD to tell him how to love me after only a few years of marriage. To try to redo a decade or more of that kind of miscommunication is very difficult. I hope your friend chooses to stick with it, even if it's just for the kids, but eventually I hope she chooses to stick with it, out of love.
You are absolutely right. Love is a choice and when we choose it, the good feelings follow.
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