Amnesia

I feel that I need to preface this post with this - I love children! Ever since I was a teenager, I loved babysitting and could hardly wait until the day that I would have my own family. It is also because of this love of children that we have had 4 boys age 5 and under. I would love to have a large family and like having them close together so that they can grow up with each other.

I have heard it said that sometimes when God gives you a deep desire, that may just be His way of letting you know what your calling is in life. It is because of this deep desire I have for children (along with a willing husband, bless him!) that I believe that God has called our family to be open to life so many times. I also believe that God has purposely given me a wonderful gift in order that I may carry out this calling - amnesia!

Yesterday was one of those days that I must forget if we are to remain truly open to another life. It started early, with my 23 month old pulling me out of bed with "Mom - bekfast!" No sooner had I left the side of the 2 month old than he woke up earlier than he should have - screaming. I tried to get him back to sleep but to no avail. The moment that I would put him down he would jerk back awake screaming. This would replay itself MANY times during the day. Bless his heart, he just wanted to be held - all day long.

Meanwhile, there were the other 3 boys being their normal selves. They needed breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We did the minimum school lesson with the 5 year old (his math lesson, Bible story and drawing, reading booklet, and phonics workbook). There was the fighting that on occasion had to be broken up - a lot of toys were put in Mom's closet yesterday! In fact, it actually made toy pickup a breeze last night! Dinner consisted of frozen breaded chicken tenderloin, boiled corn on the cob, and canned peaches, not quite the meal that is usually put together since I love to cook. Little to no cleaning got done. As I lay exhausted last night about 9 pm, I nursed my finally sleeping little one and thought about the others falling asleep in their beds. I thought "what is going through their minds - were they as stressed at the end of the day as I was! What was I thinking having them so close in age.".

Within 15 minutes, there was peaceful quiet. My 2 month old had the most content look on his sweet face. The others were asleep. And I again remembered that if we hadn't had them this close in age, we wouldn't have THEM. We wouldn't have this specific soul that we have grown to love and cherish. Look at all that we would have missed out on - their unique personalities that make each one of them who they are. As I fell asleep, I was very grateful that we had been blessed as we had and I found myself thinking "what will the next child be like?".

My amnesia had already begun!