Tantrums

Thanks for the post today Celeste! What a great topic!

Especially public tantrums. No matter how seasoned a mother, tantrums shoot to the top of the list of what will drive any normally mild-mannered mom into insanity in an instant. Yesterday at our Homeschool group field day, I just about had a tantrum of my own to match my 4 year old's that he was having.

He was tired. We had a busy week already, and then yesterday hit it into overdrive. We had field day at 3pm, with the 4 year old's t-ball game at 6pm. Why any Mom would think that all of this activity is acceptable for such a young child is beyond me, but I think that I just wanted him to follow through with his commitments to his baseball team and participate in the once a year field day (in addition to letting the 6 year old join in the fun). Bad idea, I know.

Nevertheless, I attempted it. I also reaped the consequences last night. Halfway through field day, Nicholas lost it. He was pushing, screaming, slapping at me. I growled at him under baited breath. I held on to his arm tight so that he would have to stay with me. And I felt utterly humiliated as I imagined how others thought "what a horrible child" (Of course, I just assume this is what they were all thinking).

We ended up skipping the t-ball game (which was cancelled anyhow - Yea!) and went home to settle down. After my own cool down and Nicholas's own talk with Dad, everything was fine. I realized of course that my own flaring temper definitely did not help the situation. I also know that it is my own pride which leads to my inappropriate reactions to these public tantrums. I am so worried about everyone else looking at me with the "Tut, tut BAD MOTHER!" eyes that I completely overreact to the child's public display. I become a child myself.

Time to fess up, and try better next time. I just need to let go of these nagging assumptions that everyone is judging me. Because chances are, they probably are not. And even if they are, so what! I cannot let what other's might think of me interfere with me being the Mom that my kids need me to be!